When the Honeymoon is Over (Part 1)

Posted on 03/16/2021 Last updated on 06/14/2022

MUSUBI presents the first in a two-part essay on Culture Shock and how to manage it.

Part 1: Stranded on a Solitary Island

Ok, so you’re in Japan! You saw the local sights, ate some good food, talked with some kind strangers and you got your daily life in order. You will probably have a routine that you like to do, whether it’s working out, going out, or playing some games etc. It all seems fantastic, like you’re on top of the world. Then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, the shine is off the apple, the glimmer is starting to dull, and everything just seems to have a matte gray look to it. The honeymoon phase of the transition has come to an end, so now what?

In a clinical sense, when you get to a new country there is a psychological reaction that you go through called “Culture Shock.” I’m aware that when the average person thinks of culture shock, they only think of the negative side. For example, they don’t know which side of the road to drive on, or they don’t know certain manners, so it can be hard to get along in a new place. However, culture shock is actually made up of about four stages that we will go over together. And, I’ll share a few ways that you might be able to handle the transition.

The first stage is called the “Honeymoon Period,” and besides being the title of this article, it’s probably the most fun part of culture shock. When you get to a new place with such different ways of doing things, a lot of people see even the most basic thing as fresh and new. Therefore, they start to view essentially everything that way for the first few months of being here. All the food you eat will be the “BEST THING EVER”. All the places you will go to, all the sights you see, and all the experiences in general will all feel like the “BEST THING EVER!!!!!” You might even start saying things like “Why don’t we have this/these back home?”

In certain cases, like Japanese curry, that makes sense because it’s a delicious food that you may have never had before. In other cases though, it might get down right silly. I remember my second week in Japan, I was looking at a mirror that was placed on the corner of a blind turn down a sharp turn while thinking, “We should have those back in Iowa,” just before realizing that Iowa doesn’t need any mirrors around our turns because everything there is so wide open that you can literally see in almost 360 degrees around your car.

Okay, I get it, you might not think of something as specific as “Oh boy, look at those mirrors,” but I would bet that if you pay attention to the thoughts you have during your honeymoon period, it might as well be “I love those mirrors,” levels of silly.

Photo by angel4leon on Pixabay

Honeymoon is the highest emotion you will experience during your first few months or even year of being in Japan, right? What comes after a huge peak, I wonder… well, it’s like riding a roller coaster. You guessed it, after that huge climb there is naturally a deep decline, which is stage two.

This stage is the “Frustration Period,” and is probably what people think about when they think of culture shock in general. Due to the new customs, completely foreign language, and general behaviors of the new society, newcomers tend to have a hard time after their honeymoon phase has ended. After things are new and fun because they are so different, they start just becoming difficult. And this difficulty in the afore-mentioned social changes will be what throws you into the “Frustration Period.”

I will also refer to this period as “the depression stage” because this is when feelings of homesickness and boredom set in, which can lead people to depression. This is the stage from my experience that was the most unexpected, even though I knew it was coming. Everyone told me, everyone warned me, yet I still didn’t see it until I was about a week deep. I was in my room all time time. I didn’t have much motivation to go out or meet people. I turned into a bit of a couch potato.

Truth is, I felt like I was a castaway on a deserted island. The beach party had been one of the greatest nights of my life, but then without even realizing it I had been left behind while everyone else packed up and went home. And I now I was alone to fend for myself. A place that once made perfect sense now made no sense at all.

“So, how do we get out of this Dave?” I bet you’re wondering as you read this. Well dear reader… stay tuned for Part 2 next week!

Photo Credits:

Top photo: Matt Cannon on Unsplash

Additional photo: angel4leon on Pixabay