Friends Through Food

Posted on 01/13/2023 Last updated on 01/11/2024

Top Photo: kumakoさん on PhotoAC

“A way to my friend’s heart is through their stomach”

It was in 2009, when I first stepped on this land of Japan. The first thing I could not easily relate with was the food. Although rice is a staple of both Japan and Nepal (my homeland), the side dishes are completely different here than what we eat back home. For the first few days, I felt like I couldn’t eat anything. But gradually, that changed. There are a few things I still don’t fancy, but I have gotten used to most of them.

Food is a vital topic for me, as I am a big foodie and love to cook as well. And more than cooking and eating, I love to share my food. I have always shared the food I cook with my friends and colleagues. In particular, I love to cook Indian dishes.

Almost a decade ago, the Japanese people I met and worked together with had a very different approach to Indian or Nepalese spicy curry. Recently though, Japanese people seem to have changed taste buds, and have a new appreciation for traditional Indian/Nepalese fare.

In the early days, I would only share my cooking with my non-Japanese friends who were already familiar with the tastes of our homeland. Once I started working as an ALT, it provided me opportunity to meet young Japanese teachers, and I was able to share my food with them. And to my surprise, they all seem to like it. They liked it so much that I even shared recipes with them. I cooked dishes like butter chicken curry and samosa with my fellow teachers (about 15-20 of them) and they all enjoyed it.

Was it genuinely appreciated? Well I can not really answer that question, as being polite is their nature. But I felt that they did. It really helped to break the ice between us. Many times since then, sharing recipes has worked as a real ice breaker when meeting new people.

I am still sharing my cooking, both food and recipes, with my new co-teachers. Cooking and sharing my food has not only helped me get along with my fellow teachers, but also let me understand changes in Japanese society.

Over a decade ago, before I became an ALT, some of my then-colleagues would say that my food is smelly and would not eat with me. Now, things have changed . Some of my coworkers even think that I am in a wrong profession! They think opening a restaurant would suit me better. “Well ,that has always been my ‘Plan B’ ” I reply to them happily.

To be honest, cooking is my stress buster. I live alone. Every time I cook something for myself, it tends to be too much for one person, so I share with my friends. I cook a bit more then usual and share if someone is interested to eat . Additionally, it’s a way to be remembered by my friends.

Even if we part ways after working together for a while, I feel we can stay connected with the memories of such sharing of food. Our brain can forget, but our heart doesn’t and especially not our stomachs or taste buds.

There is an old proverb in my country which goes: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. I’m not sure it’s worked for me as described (referring to a man’s heart), but it sure did help me get to my friends’ hearts.

Overall, I feel that the approach of Japanese people towards hot and spicy food has changed with time. In some small way, I like to think I have been a part of that change. I’ve enjoyed sharing my culture through my food. And I hope the friends who tasted it enjoyed it too!

Photo Credits:

Top Photo: kumakoさん on PhotoAC

All additional images provided by the original author (Kabita Gurung), used with permission