Finding New Friends In Japan

Top photo: カッパリーナ on PhotoAC

Embarking on a journey to make friends in Japan, a country renowned for its unique language and culture, can feel both exhilarating and daunting. However, the process becomes much more accessible when you focus on the “where” rather than getting too caught up in the “how.” What is important is that you go out and open yourself to the opportunity for meeting new people and the rest will hopefully come naturally. So, without further ado, in this blog post, we will explore various settings and locations in Japan that naturally facilitate connections and foster friendships, even if you don’t speak the local language.

In major cities like Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto, there are numerous international cafes and language exchange events specifically designed to bring people from diverse backgrounds together. These venues provide a comfortable setting for socializing, practicing language skills, and making friends who are open to cultural exchange. Keep an eye out for events advertised online or through community bulletin boards.

Most likely though, you will be one of the many people who are located in a much more rural area so in that case, you can try engaging in recreational activities or enrolling in classes. This not only allows you to pursue your interests but also connects you with individuals who share similar passions.

Whether it’s joining a sports club, taking martial arts lessons, participating in a traditional tea ceremony, or learning how to make sushi, these experiences offer a common ground to build relationships beyond language barriers. Most city halls have flyers of the many groups and activities going on in the area at any given time, so go in and check out what they have that you might be interested in.

There are usually many traditional arts and crafts groups that gather regularly. Participating in cultural workshops such as these or volunteering in heritage preservation programs can introduce you to like minded individuals who are passionate about preserving Japan’s cultural heritage. Whether it’s learning calligraphy, trying your hand at pottery, or joining a traditional music group, these activities foster connections through shared experiences and a mutual appreciation for Japanese traditions.

Japan is home to a vibrant expatriate community, and many cities have established organizations and groups catering to foreigners living in the country. These communities often organize regular meetups, cultural events, and social activities that are welcoming to newcomers.

Attend gatherings organized by these communities to meet people who share similar experiences and can offer insights into navigating life in Japan. Many of these communities gather online through social media platforms such as Facebook, Reddit or Meetup so you’ve got nothing to lose by looking through these apps.

Japanese festivals, known as “matsuri,” hold a special place in the country’s culture, celebrated with great enthusiasm throughout the year. These vibrant events not only allow you to immerse yourself in local traditions but also provide a wonderful opportunity to meet friendly locals who are eager to share their customs with you. From mesmerizing fireworks displays to captivating traditional dances, participating in these festivities can lead to unexpected encounters and forge lasting friendships.

One of my expat friends, for instance, used to partake in the Mizukake matsuri in Iwate every year. Despite its unusual nature, where participants wearing only momohiki (Japanese traditional underwear) run through the streets while getting water thrown on them in the middle of January, those involved find joy in feeling cleansed and warmed afterward as well as the bonds they make with the people they run with. Even to this day he swears by this festival, and I only have to take his word for it from the many friends he surrounds himself with.

Allow me to share a personal experience of meeting one of my closest friends. During my first week in Japan, while walking alone at nine o’clock in the evening in my rural village in Iwate, a car pulled up beside me, and the driver started calling out to me in English. Initially, I felt a bit apprehensive, so I ignored them. However, they persisted, so I cautiously approached the car and asked what they wanted.

It turned out they were inquiring if I was the new ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) in the area, to which I replied affirmatively. Without any hesitation, they handed me some snacks – Pringles, KitKats, and a bottle of Coke – and simply said, “Welcome to Japan.” With that, they drove off, and although I never encountered them again, that brief interaction remains etched in my memory.

Inspired by their kindness, the next day, I visited a store and purchased the same three items I had received, and approached a woman who was walking with her newborn baby, only a few months old. I offered her the snacks, and she expressed her gratitude before continuing on her way.

Surprisingly, the following week, while out for a walk, I crossed paths with her again. She took the opportunity to express her thanks once more, sharing that both she and her husband had truly enjoyed the treats. In fact, her husband expressed a desire to meet me and treat me to dinner someday.

Intrigued, I agreed, and we set a date. As it turned out, her husband and I had an instant connection, sharing similar tastes in music, movies, and hobbies. What started as a single dinner grew into a lasting friendship, with subsequent dinners, outings, and regular meetups. Despite eventually moving to a different part of the country, I make it a point to visit Iwate every year, simply to catch up with my friend over a beer or two.

While I acknowledge that my approach of responding to a stranger’s call was risky, I must emphasize that it is not a recommended approach. Nonetheless, this anecdote serves as a reminder that putting yourself in the right place can greatly enhance your chances of finding friends.

I’ve encountered many wonderful individuals simply by frequenting neighborhood establishments like cafes, bars, and local markets, and being open to striking up conversations with the people I come across. Even if language barriers seem insurmountable, genuine curiosity and a warm smile can transcend linguistic limitations, creating opportunities for meaningful connections.

In an ideal world, all relationships would unfold as beautifully as this one did. Taking the initiative and venturing outside of your comfort zone can yield extraordinary outcomes. However, it’s crucial to exercise caution and ensure your safety while seeking connections in unfamiliar surroundings.

When seeking to make friends in Japan, it’s crucial to focus on the “where” rather than getting caught up in the “how.” Exploring international cafes, attending language exchange events, joining expatriate communities, immersing yourself in local festivals, participating in recreational clubs and workshops, and engaging with the local community are all excellent avenues for forming friendships in Japan, regardless of the language barrier.

Embrace the adventure, step out of your comfort zone, and discover the welcoming places and warm-hearted individuals who are eager to connect and share their experiences with you in this remarkable country. Let me leave you with one final piece of advice, while overcoming the initial hesitation is crucial, it’s worth noting that the people you encounter may be just as eager to meet you as you are to meet them so relax and be yourself!

Photo Credits:

Top photo: カッパリーナ on PhotoAC

All other content (text) created by the original author and © 2023 MUSUBI by Borderlink

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Zane Kane

As an expat who has lived in Japan for five years, with two years spent in Iwate and three in Osaka, I have had a unique and insightful experience. Living in two vastly different areas of Japan has given me a deeper understanding of Japanese culture and the nuances of daily life in both urban and rural areas. In Iwate, I was able to experience the stunning natural beauty of the northern part of Japan, while in Osaka, I enjoyed the city's famous food and vibrant nightlife. I have also had the opportunity to try different regional foods and traditions, which has contributed to a more well-rounded perspective of the country. Overall, my five years living in Japan has provided me with valuable insights and experiences that have enhanced my understanding of the country and its culture.

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