Married in (and to) Japan

Posted on 12/11/2020 Last updated on 01/26/2021

My wife and I first arrived in Tokyo, Japan as a newlyweds. We’ve now been living here for three decades. We’ve spent time in both the the biggest city of all and possibly the most rural of small country towns. We feel we have lots to say with those who want to come and live here some day. So, I’d like to share with you what I have learned from all those years so that maybe you’ll have an easier time when you start your own Japan experience.

There is a famous saying in Japan that moving makes you poor, and after having moved a half-dozen times, we can attest to the veracity of that proverb. After many tries, we finally settled down in a home of our own here in the suburbs of Okayama City in sunny Okayama prefecture. Here are some of the things we wished we had known before coming to Japan, and some things we never thought about that we learned along the way:

Travel light, and get all the things you need when you arrive here (having a couple grand in USD helps with that last part!) Just transporting your things from overseas may cost you much more than you’d like, and once they arrive you may find they do not fit or are not needed depending what part of Japan you live in. You can buy all your furniture either new or at a discount/recycle shop.

Photo by t_watanabe on Pixabay

We came fresh out of college so had lots of debt, and had to live with no furniture for a time. We even had to settle for using a box as a our table for the first month before we started getting paid. This by they way can take up to two months with many companies in Japan, and you will likely be living off your savings and credit cards for a time. But we learned that you do not need a lot to be happy. Japan is about minimizing and downsizing. If you travel here lightly, you can get all the things you want once you’ve ensured you’ll be staying.

Remember that when it comes time to moving, you will often have to get rid of everything or ship it. This can easily cost a few months’ salary to do, so the less you live with the easier it will be when moving out. We’re in our current place for the long run, so we’ve acquired a lot of things over the years: bicycles, cars, motorcycles, a dog… we’re now living in a wonderful home with our own garden and three kids to help us take care of it. At first however, we were living in a 2DK apartment in west Tokyo that was barely large enough for the two of us. I think part of the reason we ever got out of there was due to not having the space for that much stuff to begin with!

Don’t worry about not knowing much Japanese or having a ton of friends in Japan right off the bat. You will learn it by living here, and you will make friends along the way. In rural Japan, we found we could often make friends faster since we were “celebrities” in some places. Although seemingly shy at first, people in Japan will want to find out more about you. And unlike the city, folks out in the country have time to spare! They can often seem much more friendly than in the big cities where you feel like you’ve just become part of the rat race.

This is not to say that city life in Japan is cold or joyless; we loved our time in Tokyo and enjoyed having many things to do every weekend…almost too many choices! We were also able to enjoy our weekends and holidays as we’d get out of Tokyo and explore some of the great places like Niiko, Kamakura, the Atami area Nagano etc. We took express trains to the end of the line in places like Chichibu to see what the rural life was like.

Finally, we decided that it would be a better place to raise our children, and ended up moving first to Tottori and then to Okayama. Each place we visited, we really liked for different reasons. Every area in Japan has its pros and cons. The key to be happy we found is finding out what is great about your area, whether it is a park, a pub etc. If you choose rural or semi-rural Japan, just be aware that it may be harder to find other foreigners, and you may feel isolated at times.

It’s helpful to have hobbies that help you make friends, and not become lonely and stressed in your free time. One hobby that helped us on moving out to the country: Hiking! There are a lot of great places to hike in Japan. Another one: gardening. We both love tending to one. Now, we have a dog so that keeps my kids hiking and a garden that keeps us busy. And the list goes on. My kids do pottery and martial arts at the local community center. My wife took courses in flower arranging and had a private teacher come to our home and teach her for years. Keep active, and you will stay happy and healthy.

I hope my experiences will help you! Best of luck with your (near or far) future move, and the start of your Japan adventure!

For more information on how you can live and work in Japan, and maybe settle down here for life some day, read about the job of an ALT and how you can experience Japan for yourself!

Photo Credits:

Top photo: Peggy_Marco on Pixabay

1 – t_watanabe on Pixabay